Hans Gluckenflunken

Hans "Wrong Way" Gluckenflunken was a resident of St. Olaf and its greatest explorer.

Hans Gluckenflunken set out for Florida to find the Fountain of Intelligence. Unfortunately, when he got to Duluth, Minnesota, he took a left instead of a right and he wound up back in St. Olaf. That's how he got his nickname, "Wrong Way" Gluckenflunken.

When Gluckenflunken returned to St. Olaf, it was the dead of winter. Tired and hungry, but still clinging to his belief that he would find the Fountain of Intelligence, he saw the miracle water trickling out of the ground, and he fell to his knees and tasted it. Unfortunately, the water was from was a broken sewer main, and he died of cholera two days later.

Gluckenflunken's dying words were, "I think I've learned something from this."